Kicking Ass And Taking Names

We're going to pretend this is me kicking ass and taking names. It's not. I just took this from google, like a boss.

We’re going to pretend this is me kicking ass and taking names. It’s not. I just took this from google, like a boss.

Today’s post is going to be on the more athletic side. I’m going to talk about my new love: Kickboxing. First, let me explain my exercise history. Rule 1: I hate running. Always have and always will. I did soccer from first through eighth grade and that was the most running I’ve ever done. I tried running for a summer and I just wasn’t feeling it. Rule 2: I want to work out without me thinking I’m working out. I used to dance. More than half my life I considered myself a dancer. (Now I’m a super out of shape, un-flexable, wanna-be dancer.) I danced from first grade through the first two years of college. Let’s just say “missing” is not strong enough of a word. Rule 3: I hate gyms. I don’t like the atmosphere. I don’t like creepy guys who think they’re cool because they can lift things. I don’t like those females who show up in the tightest clothes possible with full-on make-up. I sweat. A LOT. I don’t like working super hard and then the person next to me is on the phone, barely gasping. No. Stop it.

With these rules in mind, I was walking (like I sometimes do) around and found this place that advertises cardio kickboxing that only lasts 30 minutes. This is something I could get into. I can spend 30 minutes of my life in a place where I learn how to punch people.

Ok. So here’s how it works. First of all. I get super cool pink boxing gloves. Nothing says “I am woman, hear me roar” like pink boxing gloves. There are 9 rounds in this place. You’re at each round for three minutes and each round is different. Kind of like when you did stations in gym class when you were little. Yes, jump roping is involved in these stations. (No four-square though.) When there’s 30 seconds left at your station a beep beeps and the trainer yells something about “30 left! Let’s go! Push it!” etc etc. When you change stations there’s like an active rest. Active rest. (How are you resting when you’re not resting?) This is another 30 seconds. Then your next station starts.

First one is usually jump roping of some sort. Second is weights of some sort. Third you put on your gloves (!) and punch this little ball thing that’s tied to the ground and the ceiling. (Clearly I know all of the technical terms.) Fourth there’s a punching bag and there’s a tire around the bottom so it’s not going all over the place. Fifth there’s a bag that’s from the ceiling but this bag is like a bigger circle and super heavy. Sixth is sometimes hand pads where you get to punch the trainer (he’s wearing hand pads) or there’s another punching bag there. Seventh is like a bag that’s horizontal and suspended. Usually doing kicks of some sort. Eighth is the speed bag. This is where I feel really cool. And the ninth is all about them abs.

Yes, this sounds like an insane amount of work. That’s only because it’s an insane amount of work. But it’s totally worth it! After finishing I feel like I can take on the world! Nobody is looking super fancy. No creepy men being all “how you doin'”. And I’m being pushed. The trainers know what they’re doing. They don’t bother you when you don’t want them to. Everyone is super nice and encouraging and IT WORKS.

I’ve been going for about 24 times and I can definitely tell a difference. The change is gradual. You don’t see it on the scale right away because the work out is not designed that way. You tighten and gain muscle. (Not scary muscle either. I had a fear my shoulders would take over and I would no longer have a neck.) I’m more energized too, but don’t worry. I’m definitely not a super buff. I don’t obsess over exercise or being fit. I don’t chug protein shakes or keep weights in my desk at work to pump me up. Nope. None of that weird stuff. I’m still just me. I still enjoying eating chips ice cream and especially carbs. That being said, a vanilla latte is calling my name.

Until next time my lovelies!
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3 thoughts on “Kicking Ass And Taking Names

  1. […] into the coffee shop early because I want to get some blogging done. (At the time, I was working on Kicking Ass and Taking Names.) I went up to the counter, ordered my medium iced soy vanilla latte and got to blogging. After […]


  2. […] following me for awhile, you’ll know that I don’t like to run. You can read that post here. So, why did I sign up for a run when I despise it? Why did I sign up for a run with I have a shirt […]


  3. […] mentioned in Kicking Ass and Taking Names, I am not a runner. I don’t like to run and I really only run if I’m being chased by a […]


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